Recently here in Australia we had “Are You Okay Day.” Now leaving aside there seems to be a national day for just about everything you can think of, this one is important. But has the question itself lost its impact?
Think of all the times you have asked someone if they are okay. How many times did you genuinely mean it? How many times can you honestly say that you wanted the truth? Be honest with yourself. Did you ask because it felt like a social convention, or did you really care if that person was okay? Were you willing to lend your time to them to listen and help?
“Are you okay?” has become such a throw away question these days. We ask it all the time. Sure, we may bear some measure of concern. We may even tell ourselves that we care. But more often than not, our busy lives prevent us from being able to truly give ourselves to that person in need.
In today’s locked down world, most of our communication is remote. We do not get to see each other as we once did. While we do have video chats at our disposal, most of our communication has become increasingly text or voice based. With text becoming the far more common option. It is quick, it is easy, and it allows us to communicate with multiple people at once without any of them being any the wiser.
And therein lies the problem. If you are texting or messaging multiple people and find yourself asking one of them “are you okay?” you are going into that conversation half-assed. Unless you are prepared to put your other chats on hold and really BE THERE for that person in need, you are wasting your time even asking about their well-being. And worse, you are wasting theirs. Because you are depriving them of the opportunity to potentially speak to someone who is willing to give them 100% of their time to really listen and really care.
We are all busy. And we do all want the best for those we care about. But be mindful of asking the “are you okay?” question as a habitual query. Because asking that question is more than just asking a question. It is an offer of support. Please do not put it out there unless that offer is a genuine one.
And check in with yourself. Ask YOURSELF, “are you okay?” And make sure you really listen to your own answer.
Harley's Madhouse 